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My sister and her boyfriend are visiting for a week!

*WARNING: This is a long post…. feel free to skip over it. I just needed to get some things off of my chest*

They fly in tomorrow from California! I haven’t seen my sister in over a year and I haven’t seen her boyfriend in almost 2 years! I’m very excited to see them both…

However… I do feel kind of weird about seeing my sister. I love her to death and would do anything for her and I know she would do the same for me. My sister gained a significant amount of weight when she was in college, but was triumphant in overcoming her weight gain. Over a period of about 3 years or so, she lost over 60 pounds through proper diet and exercise. She utilized Weight Watchers and I’m pretty sure she still uses it on occasion. She looks PHENOMENAL and I am so flipping proud of her. Here’s where the weird part comes in… I’m scared that when she visits, my family members will comment not only on how awesome she looks but the amount of weight I gained, as well. My mom has already pointed that out very clearly and I’m afraid my cousins and aunts will do the same when they all come over on Sunday for a cookout.

I’m proud of my sister, but I feel like I’m in her shadow yet again. My sister is older than I am and have always been in her shadow. It sounds so stupid and irrational, but I am jealous of her. I am trying my best to lose weight. It’s all about comparisons in my brain. I’ve always been compared to my sister’s accomplishments and I’m afraid that will always be the case. No matter the amount of amazing accomplishments I achieve, I will not amount to the accomplishments of my sister. 

I keep telling myself to stop comparing myself to her and that I’ve achieved a lot of amazing accomplishments. In terms of weight loss and exercise, I know I can surpass her in terms of strength training. I’ve always been stronger than her. I’m trying to stay positive. I think I’m going to drink a beer, listen to relaxing music, and meditate.

*end rant*

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